expanding life to

tobeginagain.tumblr.com

http://seizeit.tumblr.com/ its better, go.

When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object

the relationship between love and sex.
the relationship between beauty and weakness.
the relationship between infidelity and love.
The difference between reality and this,
borderline simple, a need for answers.
To trust myself and trust in faith is not the easiest
when the high Archy gives you the answers after all has past.
I fear one day, I will go mental, assuming that I am not already.
The difference between mental and normal,
borderline simple, perspective.


LOL, I must read you again.

This infamous tragedy of a broken hearted man
Has left its stain on the generations
Asking us severely just where we stand
And which world do we live for.
Either way we break, but it's a matter of which way
Do we rise or fall?

I don't know which way to run, does my heart deceive me? Tell me, who is this man?

We tried so hard to reach it that night,
Holding hands, we were searching for the light
Although we looked together desperate for a home,
I'm so scared I found it alone.
Darling please just wait, It's going to be okay,
Just open your eyes.

I love you. Now, shut up, and just except it. Yes I may be some foolish girl, but I don't care. For now, I am stuck on you. Now, stop pestering me. It does not matter whichever words you choose, I am still going to be mood-swinging, unending loyalty, me. Despite your words, your change and your stupid comments, I love you. And I don't care what you say. Unofrtunately I don't know what I am going to do with you, your like this stray dog that never learns the meaning of 'be gone' and so I take you in, and I enjoy it, knowing secretly, no matter how many times I yell at you, I hoped you'd come back. So I give in, because fighting something with an uncertain ending seems pointless. Now you can be my friend, or be a jerk, either way, things will pan out. I'll be gone in a few months and who knows, I could become very distracted, and honestly I hope I do. But right now, and every morning, I love you.


Just thought you should know.

♥ you.

Angel wings spread over water worn wishes
Guarding the dreams and the things left unsaid
Here we are wandering, aimlessly roaming
Lovers who linger and never forget

And when it's done we will walk where the road meets the sun

Waiting for you by the Santa Maria
How long does thou stay with these letters from you
I don't know whether we'll end up together
But I always know that our love is true

And when it's done we will walk where the road meets the sun

Don't disappear
Darlin', I want you
Don't leave me here
And when the day comes
I'll meet you here
'Cause I know that wishes come true
Finding my way back to you

Angels wings spread over water worn wishes
Guarding the dreams and the things left unsaid
And when it's done we will walk where the road meets the sun

By the way, your not out of my life. You. I long to say I love you, in a weird matter of sorts, not in the overused sense, but I think you know this already. Soul mates. A word you brought up. Perhaps, I could see that but in which way, I'm still unsure. So hey. Don't run away yet, I'm not finished with you, things have just changed into a new life and a new time, with you still as an anchor. Reciprocate?


'For you, a thousand times over'

<3

I love the dark hours of my being.

My mind deepens into them.

There I can find, as in old letters,

the days of my life, already lived,

and held like a legend, and understood.

Then the knowing comes: I can open

to another life that's wide and timeless.

So I am sometimes like a tree

rustling over a gravesite

and making real the dream

of the one its living roots

embrace:

a dream once lost

among sorrows and songs.

~ Ranier Maria Rilke ~

and the desolate sounds are being filled by a haunting notion. Please go away. What am I lacking?

I am pretty much ready to say yes, to jump in your arms and work on this until my fingers bleed. I'm sick of being cautious, really who am I being cautious for anyways? Myself? probable. The rest of the world? Most likely. So I'm taking this, I want to so badly. Perhaps I'm not strong enough. Perhaps you will always be mine. Either way. Just ask me, that's all, I'm ready, let's go.

dear edith.

So. hey you. I really miss hanging out with you, and yes, I do very much know we say this all the time, but I feel like I fail to get the point across. I'm glad we're friends and when I say glad, I am saying the sun is shining so brightly that you cannot see anything but it doesn't matter because the sun alone is your friend in those moments. So yes, I am glad we're friends, and i hope my lack of memory or persistencey does not tamper that, I am sry, and I'll probably end up apologizing all the time for my delay in a needed overlooked phone call. But hey i miss you, and I hope you are well, and hey we have music together, because we make music together and hey i love this friendship! and your blogs, wow lol, really wow. thanks, they always make me smile, and actually that was sort of the main inspiration for this, i forget how awesome times can be when we get together, and then i read you blog, pathetic on my part, but amazing non the less. so ya. i feel a little too sentimental here, which is frightening to type out and declare my deed of friendship but tis a new risk...ya explanation on my blog hah. so i guess im at a conclusion, because well, its late and its mothers day by now and i need sleep darn it! but hey you, hug.

Hey. I've missed you!

A friend told me that I hold things back, and that I need to say what it is I long to verbalize.

Okay, so.

The question rises: If I take hold of the moment at hand and speak the words that are struggling out, will I still be me or will my words betray all I've worked to become?

My friend would you take back your advice?

On and Off, I return.

I think forever I'll be waiting for the call back in your arms. No matter how many transfusions I undergo, you will plague me, running through my veins until I can break out or break up. You are my poison, despite the years that have remedied the distance between us, how many other hearts I linger to, I can hear yours loud and clear, truly, I'm addicted, I will never be healthy again. And although this would seem to scare me, it brings a smile to my face, to know that I can love without being loved.

Somehow you know me, while I'll spend my life wondering who you could possibly be, for I have only seen a glimpse of the perfection, but I am satisfied with that. Blind me to the flaws and mistaken lifestyles, I've decided ignorance is bliss.

Because I love...

his imagination

There comes the time
when 'i love you' will
seem so insignificant
that my silence will
blow you away

In the words of & 'she absolutely defied his imagination'

I see you lying next to me.

What if I go back to everything I have ever written, all inspired by some sense of love, and forget the original influence of the flesh and replace it with something more pure. What if I make all of it a devotional of a sort, calling out my love to You, the almighty.


It's kind of nice...

in moderation.

"I know is been years...but do you think of me at all?"

"No"

"Oh"

(constantly)

...Keep your eyes open to hold back the tears.




Too many times as I am drifting to sleep with an ever straining effort, my thoughts wonder to you. I tell them "stop it, go away, and sleep" but they disobey. This causes me to wonder why they are so persistent, and I've reached a conclusion: You are thinking of me too.

Yes! Google search can find you the scripture on the tip of your tongue. ei;

So confess your sins to one another
and pray for one another so that
you may be healed. The prayer of
a righteous person has great effectiveness
(James 5:16)

Now go and be fishers of men.

For as the body is one and has many members, but all
the members of that one body being many are one body.
For in fact the body is not one member but many.
If a member suffers all members suffer with it
Now you are the body of Christ and members individually.
(Corinthians 12)

Whether you like it or not, we are in this together. Whether you accept it or not, we are one. We are connected by the unfailing love of Christ, and not even a lifetime of denial will change the truth of that. We are the body of Christ, and we need each other. Take it or leave it, this is our life.

You got what you came for now leave.

So even if things don't work out, it's okay. It showed me that there is hope in the future, that I am not too crazy for someone to want me. So it's okay. And the thing is, it has to be because last night I felt that loneliness again, the one I vowed I'd never go back to. So I'm not. I'm staying right here, and working past it all because I have to and I know there will be a better light soon enough.

Now all to do is rejoice in the things I have, how I just forget. And for starters I need to talk with my lovely's again. I will not fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I will sing to the Lord,
For He has been good to me.
-psalm 13:5-6

If you want me, Satisfy me.

I've come back from Massachusetts with a new hope.
Rediscovered the wind and the ways that the silence awakens.
Dare say I am excited, yet scared I may be losing what I have been striving for lately.
And the way she sang was so powerful, I am so proud of her.
I'm finding that I play guitar better when I'm not scrapping for words. I like it.
She showed me this song.
'You've become my world, and I'll spend my life exploring'
I showed him my music. I spent hours with him.
He makes me nervous. No one does that anymore.
I think I'll ask him to prom.
So we sang in the grass, under the rays that continue to live.
I will not be defeated again, because I'm worth it.
We both agree, God will find a way. I'm so happy for that. Smile Chica.
I think he understands the beauty in all of it.
I can only pray that my virtues don't bother him.
And so I pray he will understand, and come to me.
Family is amazing. Finding friends in a family, is doubly so.
I just want to sing with all of them. Then the world will be perfect.
I look forward to doing this again soon.
I look forward to talking again soon.
Thank you...

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can't tell dreams from truth
For its been so long since I have seen your face.
if you want me, satisfy me.
if you want me, satisfy me.

And she likes Frou Frou. How wonderful! I love her.
I think I could hug him now, I just wish he would call.
All in good time my love.

awe.

My mother called me yesterday. She told me not be so hard on myself. I didn't think she was listening when I was trying to hold back the tears the other night, trying in the most modest ways to confess my sins, but she did. She heard me. She told me it was okay. Things are okay now. Thank You. Both.

mothers are the inspiration we forget to give credit to.

Familiarity

Loves an excuse to get hurt.
And to hurt
Do you like to hurt?
I do, I do
Then hurt me...
Then hurt me....
[bright eyes]

I should really try to remember Regina in these painful in between hours.
...and so she smiles

Let the pain linger

Advice. I need the inner most calling, to listen to understand what I've been doing so wrong and learn how to fix it. I cannot go back to what I have done, I cannot return to the spectrum, to that show, and it's not who I want to be anymore. I want to treasure this, without regret. Just let it all go. All of it. Down to the last drop, sinking deeper and deeper until it has become consumed by the righteous holdings of the night. Please just take it upon yourself to destroy this mess and make me clean. For I am the utmost tainted, so wrong and alive in the broken actions I have committed. I'm sorry. Can you hear me? Do you get this? I'm sorry. I no longer want to do the bidding,s of the sad a seductress. I just want to let it go, leave it behind me and start anew. I want to know there is something better out there, someone who won't destroy me. How can something so good go so wrong, so quickly without the hint of reason as to why? Tell me! I don't think I'll ever understand, and it hurts me. Time and time again I want to revert back to what he said, to the promise to the open-hearted weekends and days filled in nostalgia. But I so badly want to move on. Perhaps I feel safer waiting in the dusk of my past, for the great fear that my future will not be any more promising. Please tell me, there is someone there. Every inch of being cries out "Help" and yet it is not answered. I've been looking in all the wrong places, so close to being right on the path, but managing to fall ever so slightly short. I don't want to fall, I wish to be strong again, I wish to understand again or if that is too much to ask for, I wish for peace and resistance against things I cannot change.

I want relief, and a story that I can comprehend, absorbing every word whole-heartedly. A Knight is out there hidden in fate, to be reveiled in due time. May God grant me stillness and silence until then.

selah.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer, and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent and praise worthy-think about such things" (Philippians 4:6-8)

~there is no significance in worrying over anything, because God always has your back. It's a comforting thought that at any stage we are in, we have Him to go to, and we are able to find peace in the knowledge that as long as we give Him our all He will reciprocate. We relieve ourselves of the worries and anxieties, that-if focused on too much-will lead us to destruction. When we focus on Him and things of Him(true, noble, right, admirable) then, He is our shield and our guidance.


'God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble' (psalm 46:1)

'In you oh Lord, i have taken refuge, let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue, be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me' (psalm 31:1-2)

'Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may recieve mercy find grace to help us in our time of need' (ephesians 2:8)

'Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see' (hebrews 11:1)




God Bless.

Perchance...

To my lovely muse (hope your checking this),
...I really can't wait to talk with you, I keep forgetting how much I need you in my life, I've missed your company, and our AP. Right now, I'm sure you are sleeping and dreaming of insane sun rises, So here is my attempt at reaching out to you until we can get in contact, because I feel it's important to help you in some way. Although I'm sad to say I still do not completely sure of your situation or struggles right now, I found some articles that may help, like sermons. So here it goes:
The Deepest Cry of the Human Heart
Feeling down at the top
The 'I Can Handle It' Trap
“If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”
Hurting and Passed By
"The Lord has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."
And a nice reminder



i love you chica.

Observation.

Right, so staying up late might not be the best idea. My emotions peek and my fingers become all to willing to type. Not the greatest combination. So thought; either I'm exaggerating with the inspiration of the most obsolete imagination, or I could be self cleansing in a sense, writing all I feel truly without questioning its logic. Either way, I think for now I am content.

And instant message is a pain, i feel like i could rant for hours, current notice of the night is that the main downfall of instant message and the underlying reason i cannot bear to have a real conversation; there is an undeniably large amount of emotion and reaction lost in translation. The least to say; Phail!

Sometimes, I feel so right, and so clear that I just want to shout to the world 'You are unbelievably loved by the best person that could ever happen to you, who will without a doubt be there always, and give you all you need and then some' And its so easy and makes so much sense, that I wonder how people don't jump to the opportunity right there and then. And again, I wonder how I can keep forgetting this, all too well, too much.

Last. I am very very cold, not that's really new =]


l.o.v.e. and peace-truly

Are you listening?

Making contact
Through indirect definition
Making yourself known aloud
Through secret and silent words
Making me wonder what your referencing

I sit here and type endlessly, curious if my words are silent and curious of what I should say, as I feel multiple emotions, clicking inside, so strong and so strange, makes me excited yet scared. Should I stray from endlessly typing whatever comes to heart? Or stop, and think, before I let possible words get me into trouble that I am not yet to bear? And from that I have come to this conclusion; I'm looking to a higher power, I will not fear what comes next, I will pray. Endlessly.


your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (matthew 6)

Because the sun is overrated.

A sudden turn of my head
Slipping in and out of memories
Pick up the photographs
That seem to remind my skin
How to feel. And I listen to
The rain, cutting through my fingers
Waking inside of me
Something I've long forgotten
And the tapping, how the sound persist
Becoming a metronome to my fluttering heart
It stirs something beautiful inside of me
A love song without a heart-breaking resolution;
An eternity of smiles, never to be tainted with.

And so with that I sway
Slipping in and out of memories
Hold up my hands
And let go.
Of it all.
Closing my eyes
To release the final tears
Joining in a dance alongside the rain
Hearing our song abundantly and loudly
Knowing that nothing else ever mattered.
Open my heart, with out an ounce of blame
Glad, that I have forgotten how

And so, I will hold out my right hand
Slipping in and out of memories
While I wait
For a partner
To lead me in a dance of a lifetime
Alongside the rain
I will wait, as long as fate persist
I will wait...

for you.

A sudden slip from where we used to be a year ago.

A heartbeat skip, relationship
Inside a bubble bath
An icing drip below your lip
So we undo the math
A sudden slip between
My pathetic sedatives
A real-life script of how
Mistakes became our medicine, so

Delay the hurtful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message that I'm
Picking up my chin at last
I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we pray from miles away
In quest for what we long to be
A heartbeat skip, relationship
So we would stay up late
A teardrop drip below your lip
Beside the airport gate
A sudden slip from where
We used to be a year ago
A real-life script of how
Our hands would hold and not let go

But delay the mournful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message
That you taught me how to live at last
But I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we wave respect goodbye
In quest for what we long to be, but

Everlasting friend-blue october

Your, everlasting friend.

so. I'm so obsessed with making things better, that to me the notion of letting time heal or change people while I sit back and hope for the best, is just completely outrageous.

Unfortunately, that is what I must do. Despite my desperate longing to fix what I falsely believe I have broken, my time has past. I wish so much that you would get better, that you would see and be all that you have been made for. I pray constantly that you would come to know Him in your own time, on your own path. It's a self learning through a self breaking thing, and I hope that one day you will be able to understand that.

I love you still, but not in the way I did. You will always have the compassion of my heart, but not my heart in itself. Thank you for the good I saw. I can only hope that I've shown you an inkling of good in return.

And who knows. Maybe one day you will talk to me again, come to me again as a needed ear or as a friend. And a part of me hopes that that day will come, and that I will be strong enough to take a new title, lesser but perhaps more important than my last.

Peace be with you, my ever adoring friend. Peace be with you, and so may He

name unknown

Perhaps we think of God in the way they we feel the least fulfilled.

Of something good.

So my faith breaks because the one I so valued was defeated in his faith
I think it's fair to say that God has shown me his hope to mend my own.

He did the impossible, gave me a sign, gave me peace
Which I have so longed for but never thought plausible.
Thank you God, My love and Savior.

I finally see your hand.

I Smile.

This is the start of something new.

Although remainders of anger are still floating astray, I honestly wish you the best.

My heart sympathizes with you, at its own grave risk, hoping that perhaps one day

You will be okay. You will be with Him. You will love and be loved for all you were meant to be.

Please don't hate me, for I am not at that hollow word myself,

I ask of you to be at ease, as I have grown to be.

We worked well. We loved. We tore each other apart.

But now there is life to be done. To each our own.

May I offer a truce; God Bless You and all you do.

Becasue this isn't mine anymore.

and for the first time, wanting this friendship means more to me than the idea of flirtation. My head and my heart concur, the most rare of all things, that to understand him is better than to know him. Jeopardizing this could be more costly than a regret and a bruised heart. I don't want anything more from you than your friendship


I don't want to do Aphrodite's bidding's anymore, I'm waiting for fate.


Understand this everlasting trouble

I'm Sorry.

In the midst of a headache.

Will you please just sing to me,
It's all I'll ever need.
I think it

can fix

me.

Help
me.Can't
You fix me?
I can feel your
embrace, calming,
I collect myself, just
In time. I will manage
In time, I'll become my
Creators misfortunet deed

Lilith I believe you...

hey man
evening on the ground
and there is no one else around
so you will
blame me
blame me for the rocks and baby bones
and broken lock on our
garden
garen wall of eden
full of spiderbites and all your lovers
we were
we were born to fuck each other
one way or another
but i'll only lie
down by the waterside at night
hey man
tiny baby tears
i will collect a million years
and you can
blame me
blame me, i will wear it
in the empty hollow part of my garden
garden wall of eden in the clamour
as they raise the curtain
you will
you will never make me
learn to lay beneath the mountain
'cause i'll only lie
down by the waterside at night
[iron and wine]

Favourite Versus

Proverb 4:23
[Above all else: Guard your heart]

Psalms 46:5
[God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved, God shall help her, jsut at the break of day]

Matthew 25:35
[For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me]

Hosea 2:19
[I will accept you as my wife forever, and instead of a bride price I will give you justice, fairness, love, kindness, and faithfulness. Then you will truly know who I am.]

This isn't it, no it's them.

God. Is. Here.

I think I found my other soul mate*.

I'm going crazy with all of this mental emotion, but it feels so good, So amazing, like falling in love without the scare of the ground. I'm nearly bursting.

Am i falling for this guy, or am I right, he is my soul mate, yet again,
Am i falling for this guy? No matter the answer, he is meant to be here at this moment in my life.
I'm not entirely sure why, but I'm beginning to find out.
Here's a curious thought, Maybe it's not my life he's in, just someone I'm close to.
I hope for both.

I have someones energy, but i think i gave them mine too.

Someone is here, in me.



*Soul-mate; in ones life there is a collection of these. They consist of variety, yet the connection and power that are involved, is the same. There is the cliche use of the word, meaning "the love of ones life", but there is so much more to it. Yes there is that cliche soul-mate, but there are other categories, like sister, father, friend, religion. All in all a soul-mate is someone that is without a doubt meant to be in your life, someone who gets you, and will truly listen and observe without judgment. It is not enough to say that these people can be considered friends, because it is so much more. It's someone you know it will be okay when you tell them anything; someone who listens, and listens well with not only ears and heart but every part of their being, and in return can calm you with the most beautiful advise; someone who knows when to give you that compliment, and knows how to connect with you on a certain level. A Soul-mate is the key that unlocks specific areas of your life, allowing you to be free in it, and connect the way we were made.

=)

@@@@@@@@
(n*n*n*n*)
(n*n*n*n*n)
(...... )
) Lillian (
|..+...|
)Edith(
/4-ever\
/ ...... \
______________

To fold over. A happy ending.

Today, was just amazing. It's as simple as that. I felt the presence, the connection. I'm so in love with my friends, sometimes they can surprise you, Pop up with this compassion that's often hidden through surface conversation. This rarity blew me away. And whoever I have to thank, weather it be the universe or most probable; God, I thank you. I owe you my gratefulness.

Thank you for making my day complete, I suppose I underestimated our friendship, and I apologize, because tonight, you capped it off. I felt God through you, surprising and ironic I know. But never the less, thank you. All My Love and Eternal Compassion

-a resurrected friend

So let me get this straight...

Litost is not a word I know.

Listening to one talk melodically about the magnetism between two people; Hearing one list the endless ways they could fall in love again and again; Listening to one be so completely sure that merely a cup of coffee with a side of conversation could become a lifestyle that could never bore; Listening to one believe this, nay, know this with the purest of their heart,


Humbles Me

Of echos and Age.

I think of anyone, musicians have a past life; channeling each memory to echo in their melodies

Let me be your melody.

As youth sings, there are endless dreams of wild opportunities open an allowing, but when time takes it's turn, what becomes of the motivation to sing, to move another human? I'd like to think it would purely become soul; love for the freedom and peace for the being. Just to be immersed.

When my heart has fallen
I will submit to the folly of the hour
When he took my hand,
And danced with my soul
For my body is lost
And somehow he understands

That I could just die tonight
And have no fear of running,
Or losing myself
So please come bury me
In your radiant compassion,
That you hold on tight

I am no longer muerto de corazon

Waiting for his title.

when one gives into the contrary thought-that things are impossible- thats when they lose it, and are apt to break, and abandon the reality of the big picture, that life goes on and does get better, more than better, amazing


Why does it seem impossible for you to believe that this isn't it, this is not all you get. The world is out there, beyond the barriers you have created in the hopes that she will love you. If she cannot understand, nay, if anyone cannot grasp the fact that you are this incredible being, that is silent, yet so moving in his ways and his soul, then they have missed out on an oppertunity of the most sublime.
You are astounding. You are You. I cannot imagine a world to be happy without that.

"Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow

back and soften and purify the heart...."
Washington Irving.

Only again

This.is.ridiculous.

the way you assume that I don't care for you

the way you rest your eyes upon my words, making my want more

the way you go on ruefully about the lasses you had for a night

I could argue with you countlessly,

But right now, no.

I'd rather be by you, to amuse my heart

For now, 

I.am.defeated.

Coccaine

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds? 
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition? 
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know 
That it alone does not equate wisdom? 
Do you see everything as an illusion? 
But enjoy it even though you are not of it? 
Are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware? 
And don't believe in capital punishment? 

These are 21 things that I want in a lover 
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer 

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that 
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny? 
la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover 
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer 
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter 
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover 

I'm in no hurry I could wait forever 
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo 
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime 
I'll live like there's no tomorrow 

Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week? 
Up for being experimental? are you athletic? 
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted?
...curious and communicative...

-alanis morissette

Naked.

See me in all my vulnerabilities. Please, wash away all the covers I hide behind. I welcome you, I trust you for this moment, if you just let me be me, naked and whole. Tonight I give you my hand...

O the outrageous.

Alright scratch that. 

No sympathy needed.

Stop being so naive.

Smile. 

I don't want to be the girl.

I could just hear you. I came so close to listening to your words, so close but not quite. I decided against myself, against my former self that is. The one who would let you in, forgetting all I've learned over the years. But no. Times have changed. My sun is so much brighter now, and care free. I feel that I've finally discovered how to live for me, to find joy and love in the small moments, finding emotions to be my friend and not my enemy. I am no longer chained to you, but I am still shaken by your presence, Oh how i loved you. I did. I've accepted it, I no longer deny the truth; I Was Undyingly Yours. 

But here is my new season. I know things will be okay.