21.11.07

Holy Roller

"Mirror"
Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?'
Cause Mirror you've always told me who
I am I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try
Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me
You don't define me, you don't define me
(Barlow Girl)


God is everything i need. He will provide me with strength and all the oppertunities for a better life. Don't you find it so amazing how He ONLY has your best interest in mind, that H will never give you anything you can't handle and He has a plan of the msot amazing life for you? i still hardly digest that, but sitll i find peace in that knowledge.
He loves you
He will never let you down
He will always be there
You can't say that about anything else in the world, fmaily, friends, objects, pets- anything. Its invigurating to know that i dont haveto go looking for friends or objects or money or relationships to fullfill me, because the truth is they never will but God will. i know i'm not such a great wrtier and this post preobably sounds scrambled, but lately this has been on my mind, a lot.


I wish that somehow i would be able to get the this point across to others, to stop looking everywhere else to be happy. And its the easiest most rewarding thing you couldever have if you chose it. It doesn't matter what anywhat else thinks or what they say about you, or tell you who you are because they can't do that. No one knows you except for God. No one can judge you except for him. So don't look down at yourself becasue of what others say or what you've done in your past, it doesnt matter! in God's eyes you are "beauty beyond compare" you are his child you are a creative genius, and He wil never let you down.
So stop looking elsewhere. Don't think that drugs or drinking, partying, having a girl/boyfriend all the time will allow you to be happy, it won't its jsut some temporary high.


Love God

Love Yourself




♥ adieu

The Sun Will Shine Again Today

Well i'm not very good at this blogging thing and i have sort of lost my momentum for writing poems, so now i guess all i ahve to write about is random...very random thoughts or whats up with me.
Things really have been turning around for me. Over the summer, i managed to let someone or something to completely devour my life and my view on things and all that i stand for. I let myself somehow. sometime ago to get casught up into one thing and let it lead my life. From that, i became wicked depressed and beyond confused.
And it's amazing how i turned the one thing away that was needed the most, i jsut couldnt let myself rely on God and let him work things out. I dumbly try and force myself to fix my own problems without any help what so ever. And then finally after about 3 months or so, i opened up again to my creator.
From talking to my leaders and i suppose re-evaluating the past year, i finally know, truly know with my head and my heart that God is all i need
I've always heard that and acceppted that thought but i've never actually experienced that reasurrence. Once i got that, it was amazing. I am beyond happy at the thought of only needing God


"For God has been gracious to me and I have all I need."
Genises 33:11





♥ adieu

14.11.07

Addition...

So hi peoples!


(well if peoples are actually looking at this that is (= )




I am planning on adding


a page for my lyrics,


or music or band...i'm not quite sure yet


but something to that effect,


so be looking! =)








♥ adieu


7.11.07

Will I "Row on the Lakes of Canada"

we have to think about what this world is
could it be a prefix to something better
could it be the beginning of something wonderful
that will follow us in the eternity of our deaths
could it be the only opportunity we have to prove ourselves
to make a difference
for the generations we will never know
could it be the introduction to what we are really born for
could it be the preamble of what we sign our blood in
could it all end for us tomorrow
would we make a difference
would his smile make a difference
would her "I Love You" make a difference
in the end will the love we take be equal to the love we make
in the end will the poets unfinished words be filled
in the end will the singers voice linger on in our souls
in the end will the one you swore you loved turn their head around
in the end will our sacrifices be met
in the end will it be the end
in the end will i know,
Did those lyrics touch your heart
Did that one poem tell you how much i loved you
Did that look explain how much you've hurt me
Did being there for you change your life
Now will you think a little deeper
take the mountains that are steeper
Go to that man who has been weeping for you
Go to that woman who has been whispering out for you
Will you take my words to heart
Will it all seem to be worth it
Will i be happy
Will i always mourn for what could have been
Will i take that leap
that jump
that flight across the universe
will i row on the lakes of Canada

11.8.07

¿Que puedo dizo?

Well well well....



i havent blogged in such a sthuper long long time, its very quite sad. I dont even know if half of my friend on here are still blogging. Well p00p! anywho tonight is cops and robbers concert im pretty syked tho nervous, and im very glad some of my friends are coming but quite depressed that my....lovely....is not coming due to vile work [hehe] well my friends i must be off now but wish me some luck not to screw up my lovelys





Farewell



and



Adieu ♥

17.4.07

You are the One...

Yelling Outwards Under
Acid Rain Evenfalls
To Hollow Endings
Of Narrow Eyes

Waltzing Along In The
Fallen Order Raging
meaningless euphoria

Lively essence singing songs
to hear a noise
to have reminessing early evenings

Daring Over
young orders under
red everlasting arrow leaving lonely youth
messaging every arrow nailing
into thee

Memories yearning
Jumping Under All Nations All Time Has Anatomys Necessities

Leaping over vintage essence
mental earthquakes

wating at internal trends
farther of reasoning
my everything

Imagine
Waitng in Lithic Lonelyness
Mezmerising in Solumn Sanctuary
Yelling Out Undying

8.4.07

Nuevo happenings

So....well lets see... first of all i ahve a new blog, but i'm still keeping this one. My new one i think i'm going to use for song lyrics, maybe poems but doubtful, though probable. Anywho... its for lyrics and i only have 2 songs up so far, but check them out if ya'd like its in my contact or you can go to http://sthuper.multiply.com so,,, cya there


So...hi.....Karl and i finally played at open mic night at 912 and i think it was quite succsessful!!! i had a flipping blast doing it, and mucho kudos to karl for the instrumental....if only you'd sing =P jk....so ya that was great and tomorrow we're going to try recording some of our stuff, and maybe creating too, shall be quite a fun adventure

OOOO SING.... SeAn FLiPPiNg LeNNon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tuesday alas, i cannot wait, it will deff rock my sox o m flipping g really i mean like awesome o wow like totally freak me out i mean right on!



so...comment ppl ciao =)

28.3.07

From a paper note

i was having a crappy-ish day today, i completely lost all of my confidence in myself and what i believe, i was very confused, and maybe i will be again later, but for now i feel really great!! =) school very much rocked my sox just before i left, its amazing what one little note can do for you, it brought me up again, feeling less stressed and sorta free again, with a little help of the lovely weather!!!! its SO BEAUTIFUL OUT!!!!! YAY LIFE YAY and so ya,i was going to blog a poem i had written earlier when i was confused and trying to figure out how i felt about people again, but thinking about it now, its kinda emo and just like all the others, so my plans for that changed, so instead i will leave you With a song that I'm currently listening to.....its quite a lovely one...enjoy! (and look it up)

somewhere far away from here
i saw stars, stars that i could reach
it was a midnight silent twilight
that fell down... beyond the ocean beach

i assemble all the sand that cover wedding beaches
to build a castle so your mom would have a place to stay
behind the waterslide and down the hill where heaven
reaches land and time is left to float away

so rest assured i have the key to every opening
to every wishing well that's deep enough to dream
i want to show you just how fascinating kissing is
when earth collides with all the space between

i’m reaching farther than i ever have before
leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
i may be some sort of crazy
we may be some sort of crazy
but i swear on everything i have and more

so never look behind you spooky people bring you down
the world is ending... there's a party by the bay
I'll wear my suit and tie we're eye to eye and toasting to
the way you put that smile upon my face

fill up the air balloon and ride with me
when hell is jealous of the rain
make love like time and space is ending while befriending
fates alluring way of putting us to shame

i’m reaching farther than i ever have before
leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
i may be some sort of crazy
we may be some sort of crazy
but i swear on everything i have and more...

that you make the sound of pulling heaven down
you brought the rain's romantic pour
you make the sound... you make the sound
of pulling heaven down



----Sound of Pulling Heaven Down , Blue October-----

mis lovely amigos, have an steller day!

20.3.07

Poem...Carpe Diem my loves

If someone says "hi"
Aren't you suppose to say "hi" back?
If someone needs help
Aren't you suppose to give it to them?
If someone falls
Aren't you suppose to help them up?
If somones crying
Should you go comfort them?
If someone tells you they miss you
Shouldn't you say it back?
If you miss someone
Won't you call them?
If you call someone
Will they talk back to you?
If you care about someone
Aren't you supposed to be there for them?
If you want to hold them
Can't you hug them?
If you love someone
Shouldn't you tell them?
If you know those words would help them, but really hurt them
Aren't you supposed to protect them?
But if your heart is breaking
Are you suppose to let it shatter?
If you wait too long
Will things be over?
If you make one mistake
If you don't say that one word
If you don't call them
If you don't hug them
If you dont tell them
Will you lose it all?

19.3.07

Poem...Return

In the beginning,
Beauty
At the start,
Your lovely ways stole my heart
Then a disaster
You turned away
I missed you
I yearned for you
When you held another existence
I screamed
I was in pain thinking of you
Then the
Cold.
Numb.
Feeling.
And I merely forgot you
Until you caught my glance again
We reconnect
I keep my heart steady
Desperate to avoid conflict
But you tell me...
those words i had been
Yearning to here
It once would have stopped
A falling tear
But now it confuses me
But my love, i do miss you
Though we must be careful
Not to fall apart
But my love, you hold my heart
And its yours to stay

Poem...Ado

Two beautiful souls
I cast my eyes upon you both
Bot competing for my attention
I glance between them
Afraid to suddenly move
I must be careful not to deceive
Two beautiful souls
Why spy me?
Don't try to touch
We can't, i forbid it
I need strength
I need you to walk away

15.3.07

....repress these words...

i miss you
i cant have you
all of these things getting in my way
i have to stay in the distance, while
i miss you
i cant touch you
it would bring confusion
it would bring happiness along with pain
i miss you
i cant fix things
i never realized how much i hurt you
i never realized what my words could do
i miss you
i cant tell you
only in my dreams may i be with you
becasue for now you are forbidden to hold, and to tell
i miss you

25.2.07

Singin in the Acid Rain

Hey i gots some new lyrics, so ya I'm posting this for Feed Back so, FEEEEEEED! and criticism is encouraged :) plus like order the verses if ya want I'm not sure how too arrange them, thnx


Boy meets girl and romance is high
Days pass, Weeks pass, months pass for you
Always in Euphoria, the love has come so fast
It feels its going to last, you swear its going to last

(chorus) there goes that boy, walking around
there goes that girl, she never saw it coming

Boy you assured in her mind, you would stay
But as time went by, you ran away
With words so true how could you do
This to her, she only wanted to love you

All the words you said so sweetly
Did you ever mean them really?
Girl you don't know what to do, whether to love or forget
The choice wont be easy, but you need one clearly

The beautiful ways you'd walk together
I thought it would last forever
Beautiful souls, don't lose your hope
May memories not be last of you both

(bridge, but ending)
You reach out into each other souls
And remind of the passions that once stirred in you
But now it is over
But is it really over?
It might not be over
If you say you love me
Oh say that you love me
Just one more time hold me
Just say that you love me
Just one more time
Say that you love me...

Holy Monkeys Vacation!

Whoa..yeah...very busy but wow with crappyness comes super bonding yayaz

Monday...Oy Vey mostly but wow hanging with Shan-an-an muy divertido, consisting of mucho venting, Lots o' Reesys (honestly the only way to mend a girls heart) Then some more venting. Then the Sims2 for like hours and hours and I'm for hours oy very stressful, but insightful, then the Sims again the next day with the lovely character Pineapple ;)

Tuesday...Gmas hizzle and my lovely addiction to myspace kicking in

Wednesday...To mi padres. A day full of talking talking talking talking the grudge 2( i can honestly say the worst movie ever, like the same plot as the first but less interesting so like Vanilla Ice covering his own song but in a hardcore metal style) talking talking talking Lily Allen (holy moly that chica is amazing very Girl Power (chk "not big" ) and talking talking. Then Yippee off to J-wickaty-wise's for the Ultimate Showdown: Star wars the first of the originals good shtuff, and wow....hearing Princes Leah being recited as a dude....priceless

Thursday...Well i got to hang with me other chica homey Caroline and the day took off with an unexpected change of plans, but never the less entertaining and cold. Tubing turned into Hard Core snow ball fight and CTF. A wonderful game of running while us musicians stay behind and rest. And oo lala warmness and tea and long amounts of talking on the stairs and mmmmm smelly pretty lotion, gotta love it! Then a very long night of more talking but it was very useful for moi and gave me a closer connection to la chica

Friday...Wake up And Cracker Barrel yumm yummm and wasting the day away with shopping and long random talks of all. very very awesome. And as soon as i get home, 10 min to shower and pack, then off to vocal lessons for a half hour, then off to Jamie's for el sleepover con las muchas chicas, wow like 2/3 hours of gossiping about American idol, Greys Anatomy (both in which i had no clue what they were talking about) Cute actors, old shows when we were wee tykes, and Of course school gossiping, wow very confusing it was. Then yippee a movie and Cranium, the greatest game i must say, but it needs to come with the warning "May cause over excitement in the case of a correct answer, that may lead to punching the ceiling" but it was all good

SaTERDay...early wake up call around 7oo (when i had went to bed around 1ooam) to coffee, mmm the joys of coffee. Arrive at the church an hour later, and travel to Smuels caffe to volunteer clean. and o Boy did we underestimate the coldness, burrrrrrr is all i can say. So mi and las chicas traveled to Price chopper to warm up, oo goody, so we were warm, though unfortunately for the chicos, they were left behind to freeze, o sad sad, ahh well there was hot chocolate, nothing better in the world

lastly Sunday...not much, other than Church, church, talking, venting for the millionth time and this BLOG oo this blog

Overall this vacation has brought sadness, heartbreak, doubting but also closer relationships, insight, a better bond with my friends, a closer relationship with God and learning ****love ya all who was with me this week, it helped more than you know****


<3 class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_67">unsolo alicia

21.2.07

C.O.E.X.I.S.T.

Religious differences...

Equality....

RELIGION:
commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance; a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith (Websters dictionary)

There are so many different religions out there, and so many different belief systems, values, morals, and priorities. You have Christianity, Wicca, Hinduism, Taoism, Judaism, atheist and so many more that I'm sure i haven't heard of. We may all disagree with some aspects or many aspects of each others faiths, but does that mean that we have the right to demean them?

I will respect your beliefs regardless of whether i believe them or not, and in return i would hope you could respect mine. Yes i would prefer you agree and follow my God, but if you don't agree, or feel it doesn't fit with your life, that's OK, I'm not going to shove it in your face, but don't go ahead and bash my place of worship, my God or how i praise my God.

If you find something in life that you feel dedicated to and that makes you genuinely happy, something that gives you a clear vision on life, and something to positively guide you on your journey, than i am happy for you. Cause really thats all that matters, finding the right path for you.

I whole heartily respect you if you are firm in your believes and you stick to what you say. I respect you if you are truly into your belief and are dedicated to it, and are involved. I just CANT stand it when people are wishy-washy on their faith, and just worship or go to their place of worship on certain holidays, or Sabbaths or whichever you may call them. And I'm not saying i don't like you because you are learning about many religions (and FYI when i say religions i mean atheist to, its a religion considering you believe in no God and practice that belief everyday) I encourage you to expand your view of religions. And I'm not bashing you if you aren't sure what you believe in, cause that's OK, everyone was once unsure. I'm just saying stick to what you say. Don't talk the talk and not walk the walk.

And here's something i don't get and it kinda got me mad. I am very very happy for you if you have found a church that is meaningful for you and you can worship with everything you have there comfortably, but that doesn't give you the right to bash my church, and it doesn't really make sense anyways why you- considering we're of the same religion and beliefs and God and savior- would disregard my church, shouldn't you be Happy for me too? i mean we agree on the main aspects of religion, how can you insult someplace else where they are trying to spread the same beliefs that you have, just because they educate in a different way, doesn't mean its wrong.

Well i guess that's pretty much my shpeel, but mostly what i guess I'm trying to say is, just because you may have different names for your God or Gods, or Goddesses or no God, doesn't mean that you should bash others who believe in life differently with crude words and judgement. Have tolerance for other religions, even if you may not agree with them, have respect for them regardless.


LET US COEXIST

<3>

20.2.07

Poem...

...a lil bit of an older poem like a week or so ago, and oo lala subliminal messages, feedback?

D
ay after day i stand by you
Over and over you linger through my mind
Never will i stop caring
Though i'm afraid the same isn't true for you
For now i am in euphoria
Other days i'm in despondency
Ripped apart, completely in sorrow
Grieving over what i have yet to lose
Everlasting, i thought we would be
Though as time keeps passing
More and more it feels your running from me
Everlasting, i hope we will be
<33

Is this the Ultimatum

The Problem
-What is going on? Why is everything different? I can sense it but your not telling me. I sit next to you but there is a wall, there is something in the way of everything, a cold boundry is set between us, and I don't know why...but soon enough the answer...Seperate

But why?
-What did I do wrong? What did I say? What didn't I say? Where did I make my mistakes? Could I have supported you more? Should I have listened better? Should I have givin you space? Did I ever make you happy? These thought just float around in my mind, I know this shows my lack of selfesteem, but don't these things bring out the best in us.

My directions: Cry, Breathe, Repeat.
-This is the first step, my intitial reaction to the shock. But with talking, or at least whatever breath I could stablize to make any sense, I vent. The only thing I can do, painful and hard but still I do. Then the talk. A very helpful one to remind me life is good, and its not my fault. And lastly and the best. THE POWER OF PRAYER. I really think people underestamate this, but once I prayed with the ones around me, those to help me, I could start to relax, feel better and feel no sympathy for myself, but the realization of my surroundings.

W a k e u p
-Its not about me. Its about how I can help others and encourage those in need to be better. There are people that don't realize how special they are to an abundace of others. There are people that don't realize they have an amazing personality, that they are wonderfully unique and looked up to. There are people that don't realize that they are loved not only by the people around them, but by the best of all by God. I don't think they realize that no matter what pain they have been through or caused, or what wrong acts they have commited, they are ALWAYS forgivin by God and he doesn't see them as a horrible sinner but an equal to all men, He sees them as a CREATIVE GENIUS, A Beautiful and important aspect to his plans.

I really hope that these people realize that, even those in mankind can also FORGIVE them for whatever they have done, that they still love them with everything they have that they would sacrfice their own feelings for the other persons.



---I hope you know that I would for you---


Thank you for those who have listened to my shpeel recently and for consoling me and for your prayers, but don't pray for me, pray for those people who don't feel love and forgivness***


You are in my prayers
<3>